Page Contents:

• Leader to Leader Listening
• Spiritual Accompaniment
• Formal Counselling
• Mentoring
• Chaplaincy
• Essential Good Practice

Leader to Leader Listening

This is when a Christian Leader, Pastor, Department Leader or Missional Leader decides to meet with another Christian Leader serving in a similar field for an agreed purpose. The duration is normally an hour or so over an initial period of about six weeks. The aim is to confidentially talk through challenging situations or issues that are being currently experienced.

This means listening with notable care to what is being shared. The Listening Leader may well ask some clarifying questions. Situational clarity is often an expected outcome and the conversation may well flag up fresh ideas of approach that creates a positive sense of progress and an assurance of good practice.

The arrangement could easily be initiated by any Leader. It is essential that the Listening Leader has identifiable training and experience of the protocols of safe delivery and follows the Good Practice recommended below. PTM can help you find a Leader to Leader Listener.

Spiritual Accompaniment

The aim of this kind of person to person support is to provide the opportunity for a Christian Leader or Pastor to confidentially receive support fellowship in their personal walk of faith through the accompaniment of another experienced Christian Leader.

This person to person support is normally with two individuals or shared between a small peer-group. This kind of person to person support can be described as spiritual direction, or soul care or soul friendship. This is quite a different setting of person to person support to mentoring which is described below.

The heart of Spiritual Accompaniment is not about the strengths and weakness of any particular Ministry or Church activity but totally on the Christian Leaders' personal spiritual journey. Spiritual Accompaniment is mostly initiated by self referral. Trying to develop a Spiritual Accompaniment from an existing friendship is not impossible, but it is very difficult to reset an existing friendship with new conditions. It is therefore best to look for someone who is independent from you.

As with Pastoral Listening described above, it is essential that the person who is providing the accompaniment has identifiable training and basic experience of the protocols and aspects of safe delivery and implements the provisions of Good Practice suggested below. PTM can help you find Spiritual Accompaniment.

Formal Counselling

This comes into place when a Christian Leader is experiencing serious issues like deep pain following a series of incidents, or a breakdown, severe depression or thoughts of self-harm. This is mostly proposed by friends, senior colleagues, the GP or family. It is rarely proposed by self referral.

This level of support will probably involve fees as Formal Counselling can only be undertaken by qualified and listed practitioners. The same Good Practice recommendations apply but to a deeper level and may include accountability back to employers or organisational Trustees. PTM can help you find a Counsellor.

Mentoring

Mentoring is normally used in the work place for a more formal support structure needed in the work of registered charities and community providers or organisations. Mentoring is all about supporting someone else and helping them succeed in their role at a professional level.

Mentors are trusted people with good listening skills and are generally successful in their chosen profession or careers with a proven track record. Mentors help the mentee to focus on their overall professional role development more so than on day-to-day issues. Mentors are not normally paid.

Mentors professional skills are applied to help the mentee develop the professional services they offer in e.g. Detached Youth Work, Community Social Care, Street Pastors, an Apprenticeship etc., they help the mentee identify their potential and note their pressure points as well as goals and successes achieved.

Mentors always act from informed and experienced perspectives. Mentors offer wisdom and examples from their personal practical experience. From time to time, Mentoring may include constructive criticism or advice on resolving issues, helping the mentee make good connections to available professional networks and training resources.

If you decide to look for a Mentor, do aim to be a good listener! You really need to be ready to improve what you do and be willing to make the most of the mentoring arrangement. The Good Practice recommendations outlined below apply to Mentoring as well.

Mentoring sessions should include you describing:

• strengths, weaknesses and goals
• ideas, conflicts and decisions and the
• reasons for wanting to be mentored

Your mentor may talk about their mistakes and successes and share what they wish they had known when they began their service to others! If it is decided to draw the Mentoring relationship to a close, arrangements can easily conclude with a sense of thanksgiving. PTM can help you find a Mentor.

Community Chaplaincy

A Community Chaplain serves normally as part of the local Churches Together or Christians Together organisations as part of the Churches Mission to the Community.

Community Chaplaincy is an organised presence within the local community offering a listening ear in places like schools, care homes, local Community Charities, Hospitals, non statutory organisations, local companies, shops and residents.

Chaplains aim to understand local issues and be alongside people. Chaplains aim to network and establish trust and positive Christian values and relationships that provide personal support. They make them selves available to people and are approachable. They freely give extra time and energy when there is a need or crisis. Chaplains are normally volunteers although some statutory organisations like the NHS pay their Chaplains.

Community Chaplaincy often involves working across different sociological levels and expresses the same care to everyone they meet. The listening ear aspect is high value and the same standards of Good Practice that are expected of e.g. Spiritual Accompaniment (noted above) are expected of Chaplains. Community Chaplains are expected to pray as appropriate for individuals or situations they encounter and sometimes with people if they are invited to do so. PTM can help you find an involvement as a Community Chaplain.

Essential Good Practice

The expectancy of what is described as Good Practice is common to every element of the person to person support of other people and is included within arrangements for Leader to Leader Listening, Spiritual Direction or Accompaniment, Formal Counselling, Mentoring and Chaplaincy. There are three well known standard areas of Good Practice PTM focuses on and seeks to promote without reservation.

• Creating and Respecting a Support Agreement

The direction, aim and purpose of person to person support is essential to outline and agree right from the very start. The provider who takes the lead always needs to take the responsibility of establishing this understanding, giving place for acceptance, before any further progress in person to person support is considered.

Practical arrangements to implement good practice come into the discussion like where, when and how long each session should run for. Should these sessions be weekly or have longer intervals between. With the popularity of zoom meetings and video phone facilities, using this kind of mobile technology can be a real help to any person to person relationships mentioned above if it is considered helpful to save travel time and expense. Asking a supporter to travel out of their area could be considered a disincentive, so zoom could really help make a form of person to person support possible.

The duration of person to person sessions is normally about one hour and then for six sessions. Allowance also needs to be considered for including elements like reflection, beginnings and endings so that these can fit in to the hour without feeling rushed or having an abrupt session ending.

• Respecting the Feelings of Other People

The overriding focus of person to person support is to create a context that is non-judgemental so the person being supported can have the freedom to disclose with honesty and peace what in their heart and a possible area of pain.

The person to person provider then needs to be 'non-offendable' when the one receiving shares their situation, responses and feelings in an honest way. Conversation is then best kept only to what is relevant.

A supporters sense of balance, boundaries and choice of terms are always going to be important. You may need to explain your response and why. Seeking to avoid even getting close to what could be later described as manipulation or possible abuse is something to avoid at all costs.

• Respecting the Privacy of Other People

The basic terms of assurance and safe practice are an essential for all those who provide person to person support. The arena of operating such a needed and yet sensitive ministry to another is something that requires very special care, not just for the provider and the one receiving, but also for the good name and testimony of the Church or Organisation being served or who have accredited your involvement.

Terms like 'confidentiality' and 'disclosure' are often used in this context as essential. Confidentiality is about privacy and respecting someone's wishes. It means that people who provide Listening Agreements, Accompaniment Agreements or Mentoring Agreements etc should not share personal details about the person being helped, with any other organisation, group or individual unless the person receiving gives their permission. But this may be required if the disclosure indicates the one receiving support has engaged in an illegal act or that a crime has been committed. If this were to occur, it is good practice to warn the person disclosing the information that progressing any further with the conversation could require a report to Police or another authority. Thankfully, this is very rare but the implementation of the above elements of Good Practice must always be maintained.

If you would like to find our more about any of the topics listed above or how PTM can help you, do please contact us.

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